B​-​Folk Volume 1: No Budget Nightmares

by Roo

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    Hey all! Thank you for picking up this crazy collection, I hope you enjoy it!
    If you're grabbing the album for free, I'm asking for your email. Will you receive emails? Maybe...every so often...but it's very unlikely. When Volume 2 comes out, you'll probably get one. If I get off my butt and make a video, I may let you know. If you don't want me to email you with anything, not a problem. I'll take you off my list the very second...SECOND...that you tell me to!
    And if you want more stuff, let me know as well, and I'll notify you when new B-Folk tracks come out!
    I don't want to say there are hidden tracks...but there might be hidden tracks. You might want to check and see if there are hidden tracks.

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about

B-Folk is a genre created by Roo to describe a project he that no other person would dare take on: recording homages to low-budget films, giving them the respect and love they deserve. Each film was reviewed and discussed by Doug Tilley and Moe Porne on their amazing podcast, No Budget Nightmares, and Roo supplied a song per episode to give the flick a proper send off.

The songs were mostly written while watching the movies themselves, honed in a solo jam session after the movie was finished, and recorded in a couple of hours afterwards. The shortest session was three hours, the longest seven. All instruments - guitar, bass, banjo, mandolin, keyboards and accordion - were played by Roo.

Part songwriting experiment, part DIY recording challenge and part giving back to the community of low-budget filmmakers who have entertained Roo for decades, B-Folk is a testament to the fact that even if you only have $500 in your pocket someone will give a shit about the art you make.

Watch the movies. Listen to the podcast. And to hear the songs that will appear on Volume 2, subscribe to No Budget Nightmares.

Cover Art by Dan McCudden

credits

released 17 July 2014

All songs written, performed and recorded by Roo

Instruments: Norman Acoustic Guitar, Takamine Acoustic Guitar, Fender Prodigy Bass, Dean Banjitar, Gretsch Mandolin, Bellini Accordion, Yamaha Keyboard.

Recorded using Ableton Live, a MacBook Pro, some microphones and a dream.

Cover Art by Dan McCudden

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Track Name: Tilley and Porne
Tilley and Porne will find their way
Through the movies that they watch each day
They suffer so that we don't need to
They're the shield that we can see through
The show it has the budget of
The movies that they watch and love, well
Love might be a little far
I'm sure they're being driven to the
(Bar)
To drink their pain away
And live to watch another day
Before they stumble home to sleep
Beneath their branded Todd Sheets sheets

There's one thing that I know for sure
The movies and their hearts are pure

A choking scene goes on too long
As Enochian Key, they sing their song
As Tallah aims for Sasquatch head
We killed them, we ate them and dead is dead
The lesbians are middle aged
Despite what movie titles say
Ow my nuts, Ow my nuts
We hear the bad director say
(Cut)
It out and spare their souls
Before the ant farm finds their dickholes
You'd think their lives are living pornos
Then they have to discuss Gorno
Tilley offers smart critique
Moe is honest when they reek

There's one thing that I know for sure
The movies and their hearts are...

Let's hope that what they see will stink of beauty now and then
Let's hope that no one Photoshops your heads
On bodies of more hot, gay men

There's one thing that I know for sure
The movies and their hearts are pure
Track Name: Truth or Dare: A Critical Madness
I dare you to come with me
And camp out beneath the trees
I'll tell you about my youth
And dare you to speak the truth

Tell me dear, what is your name?
Tell me dear, do you know the game?
Your beauty cannot compare
To the beauty of truth or

Dare dare dare dare...

The man beneath this mask
Bears questions that he must ask, like
Tell me the truth, is it true love
Do you swear it to God above?

I want nothing more than to believe that what you tell me will not tear
My fragile heart in two, tell me will you accept this
Accept this
Will you accept this

Dare dare dare dare...

I'm coming to find you dear
It's been too long I fear
That you've settled with someone new
Beneath this mask I'm torn in two

I'd do anything to prove it's true
I'd tear out my tongue for you
I slice off all my hair
I'd do anything for you if you'd just dare
Track Name: Order of One: Kung Fu Killing Spree
A chance meeting
A rough beating
That I couldn't afford
It was waiting
With breath baiting
My destiny's sword

The reporter and the Order

A reporter (needs a)
Supporter (when he)
Has a mission that he needs to fulfill
An ex convict (fate)
Has hand picked (with)
Intuition...until

The sword is our destiny
Lay your hand on it just for a second and you'll see
You don't want to mess with me

I never figured I could be so scared of dynamite
Never thought I'd run from butterflies
I came for the ambience but stayed for the chance to have one more night
I'm not so certain that I did it for the money and
Not so sure I did it for revenge
Who would've thought they could be so clever in this endless fight

It's just me here with you
And some bad ass kung fu
You may think that this is fun but
I'm an order...of one

I never figured I could be so scared of dynamite
Never thought I'd run from butterflies
I came for the ambience but stayed for the chance to have one more night
I'm not certain that I did it for the money and
Not so sure I did it for revenge
Who would've thought they could be so clever in this endless fight
Track Name: Kindergarten Ninja
Dear Blade Steel,
Thanks for keeping it real
When you came into our school after a courtroom deal
Got you out of time in jail and swiftly into our hearts
Though I must admit that we had had a rocky start
We were loud, we were rude
We were out of control
And going down the path to sentencing without parole
You know the only kind of sentences that we should string together
Is when words are linked grammatically to mean something or other
Cause we're six
We're too young to be behind bricks

We have a problem with a dude who's name is Mr. Machete
Not the one who Trejo played this guy is ugly gross and sweaty
And he uses kids to deal his dope to dudes who do it heavy
Our neighbourhood is looking like New Orleans without levies
Cause they're dicks
Machete's a total dick

Ghost of Bruce Lee
And Master Chosen One
Only one of you can see
And he's the one who's dead and gone
You've gotta help Blade Steel
Get us out of this mess
It's an unwritten law
We need a kindergarten ninja

Blue and green, scary mean
Football kung-fu killing machines
Are backed up by the drug king
Though Steel can fight, and flirt, and sing
He might be in over his head
Machete really wants him dead
To stop all this commotion
We may have to fight in slow motion

Ghost of Bruce Lee
And Master Chosen One
Only one of you can see
And he's the one who's dead and gone
You've gotta help Blade Steel
Get us out of this mess
It's an unwritten law
We need a kindergarten ninja

So thank you Mr. Steel
For all that you've done
You taught us all karate
And the war is won
Sure you put us all in danger
In that warehouse fight
But we ended drugs forever
So our future can be bright
I hope you never leave us
The thing this school needs
Is the womanizing, football playing
Kung fu fighting deeds
Of a man who God has chosen
For an angel to descend
And give him martial arts, a big heart
And a brand new lady friend

Ghost of Bruce Lee
And Master Chosen One
Only one of you can see
And he's the one who's dead and gone
You've gotta help Blade Steel
Get us out of this mess
It's an unwritten law
We need a kindergarten ninja
Track Name: Video Violence
What a pretty town
What a strange, off-putting pretty town
That never had a video store but has so many VCRs around
And the local folk
All those strange off-putting local folk
Don't know Abbot from Costello
But love seeing ladies tied and gagged and bound

I wanna say it's quaint
But Mayberry it ain't
It doesn't make any sense
All this video violence

The Eli Show
Is the biggest of these flicks that I know
Sometimes it's hard to see
Despite their striving local film industry

I wanna say it's quaint
But Mayberry it ain't
It doesn't make any sense
All this....

Scissor, or razor, or ice pick to choose
Scissor, or razor, or ice pick to choose
Scissor, or razor, or ice pick to choose
Scissor, or razor, or ice pick to choose

I would say it's fine
But this is coming out of your cheque, not mine
I wouldn't say it's snuff
But sometimes renting is not enough
And I wanna say it's quaint
But Mayberry it ain't
It doesn't make any sense
All this video violence
Track Name: Cannibal Campout
Gather my friends and out the door
Heading to a place we've never been before
Driving down to Redston
Singing a song and making out
Ignore those stories that we've heard about
Making sure we packed the beds in

Let's stop the car and lend a hand
To the farmer boys and the pilot man
Then head on off to our room with a view
They seem stressed out and underfed
The pilot guy has a funny head
Hey, it's the friendly thing to do

It's the best time of the year
Nothing strange out here

It's a cannibal campout
With the brand new friends on the road we met
It's a cannibal campout
I have a feeling it's a trip that we'll never forget
I hope this day will never end
What an interesting way to start a weekend
Just me and my brand new friends

It's a small small small small
Small small world
What a small small world
It's true
But did you ever hear about three guys in the woods ever doin' anything bad
Tell me did you

It's a cannibal campout
It was fun, but it's done, now I've run and hid
It's a cannibal campout
Feelin bad, I'm so mad that I brought my kid
I guess this day will have to end
What an interesting way to end the weekend
Making food out of my best friends
Track Name: Redneck Zombies
Well I'm making my moonshine
By the light of the sunshine
In the woods that my pappy done gone gave us in his will
I don't wanna have to kick yer ass
If you get between me and my mash
That done gone been placed down into my still

If it weren't for brother Elly May
Who's a big strong man but he might be (HEY!)
Let's not go down that road cause it's a scary place within
I can't carry that barrel or I'd be wheezin'
Let's hope that corn is all he's squeezin'
I pulled Elly May right out of his mother and I'll push him right back in

Yodelay-hee-hoo
It's real swampy
Yodelay-hee-hoo
But it's comfy

Guess that we should take a drink
From the swill that brewed up in our sink
I hope that strange old barrel didn't go and wreck the taste
So we drink out of our mason jars
But it seems that we won't get too far
Since our alcohol is full of toxic waste

Yodelay-hee-hoo
It's kinda swampy
Yodelay-hee-hoo
Shit, I'm a zombie

That Elly May, you clumsy (HEY!)
Golly, heck we're dead
We're zombies but we got us necks all red

They'll scream and cry and bitch and fight
But damn their skin it looks just right
No chicken fryin' steakin' could improve
Let's tear that lady's scalp in two
And eat her friends who'll be by soon
Let's wait for all the city slickers here to pass on through

Yodelay-hee-hoo
It's real swampy
Yodelay-hee-hoo
Sweet, I'm a zombie

Better watch your ass and necks and, heads up!
It's time you knew
Tobacco ain't the only thing we chew

Cause it's too late, you've sealed yer fate
If you've done gone and saw me
You're a meal tonight for a hungry redneck zombie
Track Name: Boardinghouse
I hope that I'm not imposing
I know you have no more space
I just would like to live with you
And see you each time that I wake up in this place

I'll try real hard to be quiet
And stay out of your way
So I could be all yours like
All the rest who live here in this boardinghouse today

This boardinghouse
A family of friends
You won't believe the things I see
We're friends until the end

My friends they all seem so happy
Except whenever they freak out
It seems that when they're all sleeping
They toss and turn and scream and shout

There's something living here with us
Someone I've never seen
But I don't have to worry, no
Cause I know that you'll protect me

This boardinghouse
A family of friends
You won't believe the things I see
We're friends until the end

I met the brand new tenant
He's taking me outside
He's showing me his hammer
Track Name: Necromantik
I wish that you would read me sweet love stories as I sleep
I turn each gentle word you say to visions in the deep
You press against my temple and my eye begins to weep
My heart for you is tender

I dream that I can keep you in a dozen little jars
To keep you safe from trouble, falling trees or crashing cars
And every night I take you out alone among the stars
Until I read that letter

But from inside out (I'm second best)
I love you so (But I'm laid to rest)
I know that I can prove that I am far from sick
Like you, my love is tragic

(Skin so soft)
It very near slides off
(Safe from harm)
Like a rabbit in a loft

I know hope one day that I can seem as good to you as he could be
That you wouldn't have to sacrifice the best years of your life for me
And if I had the courage to stand up for what's right, you see
I know I could do better

But from inside out (I'm second best)
I love you so (But I'm laid to rest)
I know that I can prove that I am far from sick
Like you, I'm necromantik
Track Name: The Abomination
Dreams, you've been fooling me
Nightmares, you've been telling me
That something doesn't sit quite right
Alright, I'll listen for one more night

Someone I love is hurting deep inside
Mother, my mother I will sit beside
I want to be helpful but she's trapped by faith
No she just won't face her fate with grace


Please come here, sit dear
I have something to say to you
And it won't take long, just one song
And you will know what I'm going through
My abomination, the desolation
It needs for you
It feeds on you

It came from inside me
And tried to divide me
But I know we are as one
Still I feel that I'm broken
My story's unspoken
But maybe it's me who's come undone

Fate, I believe you but
Wait deep down in my gut
I need for you to sit just right
Then you'll feed, you'll feed
Your sweet appetite

Come here, sit dear
I have something to say to you
And it won't take long, just one song
And you will know what I'm going through
Abomination, the desolation
It needs for you
It feeds on you
Track Name: Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation (Sometimes a Boat is as Good as a Plane)
With best friends the challenge disappears
It transcends any childhood fears
The lens can capture seven years
We can do anything

The plan was to find the ark
Began at our twelve year mark
A man as it fades to dark
Instead of summering we're gonna make this thing

It was tough, but we adapted
They had experience and cash but we could match it
When you want it this bad there's no need to explain
Sometimes a boat is as good as a plane

We go shot for shot on screen
Just like our favourite film had been
We fell short by one crazy scene
We have to go our separate ways but we'll still have those special days

It was tough, but we adapted
They had experience and cash but we could match it
When you want it this bad there's no need to explain
Sometimes a boat is as good as a plane

We were kids, but that can hardly matter
A tribute was the treasure we were after
Those seven years, it was a fact, we pulled it off
We could adapt
We could adapt
We could adapt

And now, after decades past
Somehow we've been unsurpassed
And we can complete at last
The one that got away, that moment to this day
We're given one more try to film that last goodbye

It was tough, but we adapted
They had experience and cash but we could match it
When you want it this bad there's no need to explain
Sometimes a boat, sometimes a boat

It was tough, but we adapted
They had experience and cash but we could match it
When you want it this bad there's no need to explain

If you want it bad enough, If they want it bad enough
If you work hard enough
You can have your plane
Track Name: I Am Here....Now
I'm disappointed
The Earth's a disgrace
I have travelled
Across time and space
To admonish
The entire human race
I just didn't plan it like this

All the lawyers
Are liars, cheats and thieves
Politicians
Are paid off to deceive
The corruption
Is too hard to believe
They all discriminate and
I must eliminate

I'll mend this broken flower
(Just don't give up)
Man don't have the power
(And can't give up)
I've been away for a real long time
(And might give up)
I wasn't here then
But I am here....now

Man and Nature
They just don't get along
Man and Mankind
Can do nothing but wrong
They are blinded
To He who is strong

I'll give them one more chance
But warn them in advance
If they keep sinning then
I must begin again
I must begin again
I might just make 'em dust and start again

I'll mend this broken flower
(Just don't give up)
Man don't have the power
(And can't give up)
I've been away for a real long time
(And might give up)
I wasn't here then
But I am here....now
Track Name: Tales of the Dead
CHORUS:

Let's sit around the hookah cause we have some yarns to tell
It's All Hallows Eve so let's raise a little hell
I'll show you mine if you show me yours, there's scary times ahead
It's time to spend an evening watching Tales of the Dead

ACT 1:

I'm feeling far to empty
The way to feel more complete
Is to remove a limb now
Some fingers, hands or my feet
My digits do depress me
My members make me feel sad
So please just hack the off now
Hack them off now
Hack them off

I see a monster in the mirror
I can't figure out how I can make myself clearer

So screw off with your rules now
I don't care about the board
It's time to slice and dice me
I believe that less is more

ACT 2:

I know you need me to help you out
This house can't stand if I laze about
He's gone, and now I'm man of the house

My dreams, my needs won't just go away
I can't fill the hole with a job or pay
He's gone, he left and now I decay

You tell me monsters don't exist
But what I see I can't deny
I know what I've seen and I can't resist

Do you know what happens when you cry wolf?
Wolves cry
Wolves cry

ACT 3:

Don't be so almighty
Leather whips excite me
I have sent my letter
You think you know better

You are chasing shadows and it's going nowhere fast
You are running circles back in time into your past
You are getting tired now and I will outlast

I have handed down your sentence
I will make you pay your penance

ACT 4:

Back in time four hundred years
Three witches had a town in fear
Their lives were ended here
But not before some people overhear

A curse upon this street
That torments all who lay their feet
Their scorn won't be complete
Due to the judgement and deceit

Take me home, I am done
Walking Cromwell Street
I'm alone, they have won
Walking Cromwell Street
Take me home, I am done
Walking Cromwell Street
I'm alone, they have won
Walking Cromwell Street

DENOUEMENT:

So four of us have shared our stories, one is left to hear
And then we can collect the new ones to celebrate next year
So long as we aren't snuffed out by the killer on the loose
The one who cuts the power before stringing up the noose
Track Name: Victor Juliet's Director's Cut
Hmmmmmmmm

Would you like a role in my new horror flick
Come into the casting room and wait a bit
I promise you you'll never be forgotten for
The character you'll play

Please ignore the blood stained walls and knives we brought
There's no need to rehearse your lines or know the plot
I'll talk you through the scene until the point you've been
Able to relay (Able to relay your role in)

Our director's splendid flick
Trust us you're the perfect fit
Though honestly, you're stuck
In Victor Juliet's Director's Cut

Drink the water that we will provide
Our sound guy is an expert even though he smells like he has died
I assure you this is not a sign of things to come

So once again I thank you for your precious time
I'm glad that we can capture you within your prime
I'm sure that you will always be remembered, but
There is a chance your only scene will end up cut

In our glorious director's splendid flick
Trust us you're the perfect fit
Though honestly you're stuck
In Victor Juliet's Director's Cut