B​-​Folk Volume 1: No Budget Nightmares

by Roo

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    Hey all! Thank you for picking up this crazy collection, I hope you enjoy it!
    If you're grabbing the album for free, I'm asking for your email. Will you receive emails? Maybe...every so often...but it's very unlikely. When Volume 2 comes out, you'll probably get one. If I get off my butt and make a video, I may let you know. If you don't want me to email you with anything, not a problem. I'll take you off my list the very second...SECOND...that you tell me to!
    And if you want more stuff, let me know as well, and I'll notify you when new B-Folk tracks come out!
    I don't want to say there are hidden tracks...but there might be hidden tracks. You might want to check and see if there are hidden tracks.
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1.
Tilley and Porne will find their way Through the movies that they watch each day They suffer so that we don't need to They're the shield that we can see through The show it has the budget of The movies that they watch and love, well Love might be a little far I'm sure they're being driven to the (Bar) To drink their pain away And live to watch another day Before they stumble home to sleep Beneath their branded Todd Sheets sheets There's one thing that I know for sure The movies and their hearts are pure A choking scene goes on too long As Enochian Key, they sing their song As Tallah aims for Sasquatch head We killed them, we ate them and dead is dead The lesbians are middle aged Despite what movie titles say Ow my nuts, Ow my nuts We hear the bad director say (Cut) It out and spare their souls Before the ant farm finds their dickholes You'd think their lives are living pornos Then they have to discuss Gorno Tilley offers smart critique Moe is honest when they reek There's one thing that I know for sure The movies and their hearts are... Let's hope that what they see will stink of beauty now and then Let's hope that no one Photoshops your heads On bodies of more hot, gay men There's one thing that I know for sure The movies and their hearts are pure
2.
I dare you to come with me And camp out beneath the trees I'll tell you about my youth And dare you to speak the truth Tell me dear, what is your name? Tell me dear, do you know the game? Your beauty cannot compare To the beauty of truth or Dare dare dare dare... The man beneath this mask Bears questions that he must ask, like Tell me the truth, is it true love Do you swear it to God above? I want nothing more than to believe that what you tell me will not tear My fragile heart in two, tell me will you accept this Accept this Will you accept this Dare dare dare dare... I'm coming to find you dear It's been too long I fear That you've settled with someone new Beneath this mask I'm torn in two I'd do anything to prove it's true I'd tear out my tongue for you I slice off all my hair I'd do anything for you if you'd just dare
3.
A chance meeting A rough beating That I couldn't afford It was waiting With breath baiting My destiny's sword The reporter and the Order A reporter (needs a) Supporter (when he) Has a mission that he needs to fulfill An ex convict (fate) Has hand picked (with) Intuition...until The sword is our destiny Lay your hand on it just for a second and you'll see You don't want to mess with me I never figured I could be so scared of dynamite Never thought I'd run from butterflies I came for the ambience but stayed for the chance to have one more night I'm not so certain that I did it for the money and Not so sure I did it for revenge Who would've thought they could be so clever in this endless fight It's just me here with you And some bad ass kung fu You may think that this is fun but I'm an order...of one I never figured I could be so scared of dynamite Never thought I'd run from butterflies I came for the ambience but stayed for the chance to have one more night I'm not certain that I did it for the money and Not so sure I did it for revenge Who would've thought they could be so clever in this endless fight
4.
Dear Blade Steel, Thanks for keeping it real When you came into our school after a courtroom deal Got you out of time in jail and swiftly into our hearts Though I must admit that we had had a rocky start We were loud, we were rude We were out of control And going down the path to sentencing without parole You know the only kind of sentences that we should string together Is when words are linked grammatically to mean something or other Cause we're six We're too young to be behind bricks We have a problem with a dude who's name is Mr. Machete Not the one who Trejo played this guy is ugly gross and sweaty And he uses kids to deal his dope to dudes who do it heavy Our neighbourhood is looking like New Orleans without levies Cause they're dicks Machete's a total dick Ghost of Bruce Lee And Master Chosen One Only one of you can see And he's the one who's dead and gone You've gotta help Blade Steel Get us out of this mess It's an unwritten law We need a kindergarten ninja Blue and green, scary mean Football kung-fu killing machines Are backed up by the drug king Though Steel can fight, and flirt, and sing He might be in over his head Machete really wants him dead To stop all this commotion We may have to fight in slow motion Ghost of Bruce Lee And Master Chosen One Only one of you can see And he's the one who's dead and gone You've gotta help Blade Steel Get us out of this mess It's an unwritten law We need a kindergarten ninja So thank you Mr. Steel For all that you've done You taught us all karate And the war is won Sure you put us all in danger In that warehouse fight But we ended drugs forever So our future can be bright I hope you never leave us The thing this school needs Is the womanizing, football playing Kung fu fighting deeds Of a man who God has chosen For an angel to descend And give him martial arts, a big heart And a brand new lady friend Ghost of Bruce Lee And Master Chosen One Only one of you can see And he's the one who's dead and gone You've gotta help Blade Steel Get us out of this mess It's an unwritten law We need a kindergarten ninja
5.
What a pretty town What a strange, off-putting pretty town That never had a video store but has so many VCRs around And the local folk All those strange off-putting local folk Don't know Abbot from Costello But love seeing ladies tied and gagged and bound I wanna say it's quaint But Mayberry it ain't It doesn't make any sense All this video violence The Eli Show Is the biggest of these flicks that I know Sometimes it's hard to see Despite their striving local film industry I wanna say it's quaint But Mayberry it ain't It doesn't make any sense All this.... Scissor, or razor, or ice pick to choose Scissor, or razor, or ice pick to choose Scissor, or razor, or ice pick to choose Scissor, or razor, or ice pick to choose I would say it's fine But this is coming out of your cheque, not mine I wouldn't say it's snuff But sometimes renting is not enough And I wanna say it's quaint But Mayberry it ain't It doesn't make any sense All this video violence
6.
Gather my friends and out the door Heading to a place we've never been before Driving down to Redston Singing a song and making out Ignore those stories that we've heard about Making sure we packed the beds in Let's stop the car and lend a hand To the farmer boys and the pilot man Then head on off to our room with a view They seem stressed out and underfed The pilot guy has a funny head Hey, it's the friendly thing to do It's the best time of the year Nothing strange out here It's a cannibal campout With the brand new friends on the road we met It's a cannibal campout I have a feeling it's a trip that we'll never forget I hope this day will never end What an interesting way to start a weekend Just me and my brand new friends It's a small small small small Small small world What a small small world It's true But did you ever hear about three guys in the woods ever doin' anything bad Tell me did you It's a cannibal campout It was fun, but it's done, now I've run and hid It's a cannibal campout Feelin bad, I'm so mad that I brought my kid I guess this day will have to end What an interesting way to end the weekend Making food out of my best friends
7.
Well I'm making my moonshine By the light of the sunshine In the woods that my pappy done gone gave us in his will I don't wanna have to kick yer ass If you get between me and my mash That done gone been placed down into my still If it weren't for brother Elly May Who's a big strong man but he might be (HEY!) Let's not go down that road cause it's a scary place within I can't carry that barrel or I'd be wheezin' Let's hope that corn is all he's squeezin' I pulled Elly May right out of his mother and I'll push him right back in Yodelay-hee-hoo It's real swampy Yodelay-hee-hoo But it's comfy Guess that we should take a drink From the swill that brewed up in our sink I hope that strange old barrel didn't go and wreck the taste So we drink out of our mason jars But it seems that we won't get too far Since our alcohol is full of toxic waste Yodelay-hee-hoo It's kinda swampy Yodelay-hee-hoo Shit, I'm a zombie That Elly May, you clumsy (HEY!) Golly, heck we're dead We're zombies but we got us necks all red They'll scream and cry and bitch and fight But damn their skin it looks just right No chicken fryin' steakin' could improve Let's tear that lady's scalp in two And eat her friends who'll be by soon Let's wait for all the city slickers here to pass on through Yodelay-hee-hoo It's real swampy Yodelay-hee-hoo Sweet, I'm a zombie Better watch your ass and necks and, heads up! It's time you knew Tobacco ain't the only thing we chew Cause it's too late, you've sealed yer fate If you've done gone and saw me You're a meal tonight for a hungry redneck zombie
8.
I hope that I'm not imposing I know you have no more space I just would like to live with you And see you each time that I wake up in this place I'll try real hard to be quiet And stay out of your way So I could be all yours like All the rest who live here in this boardinghouse today This boardinghouse A family of friends You won't believe the things I see We're friends until the end My friends they all seem so happy Except whenever they freak out It seems that when they're all sleeping They toss and turn and scream and shout There's something living here with us Someone I've never seen But I don't have to worry, no Cause I know that you'll protect me This boardinghouse A family of friends You won't believe the things I see We're friends until the end I met the brand new tenant He's taking me outside He's showing me his hammer
9.
02:24
I wish that you would read me sweet love stories as I sleep I turn each gentle word you say to visions in the deep You press against my temple and my eye begins to weep My heart for you is tender I dream that I can keep you in a dozen little jars To keep you safe from trouble, falling trees or crashing cars And every night I take you out alone among the stars Until I read that letter But from inside out (I'm second best) I love you so (But I'm laid to rest) I know that I can prove that I am far from sick Like you, my love is tragic (Skin so soft) It very near slides off (Safe from harm) Like a rabbit in a loft I know hope one day that I can seem as good to you as he could be That you wouldn't have to sacrifice the best years of your life for me And if I had the courage to stand up for what's right, you see I know I could do better But from inside out (I'm second best) I love you so (But I'm laid to rest) I know that I can prove that I am far from sick Like you, I'm necromantik
10.
Dreams, you've been fooling me Nightmares, you've been telling me That something doesn't sit quite right Alright, I'll listen for one more night Someone I love is hurting deep inside Mother, my mother I will sit beside I want to be helpful but she's trapped by faith No she just won't face her fate with grace Please come here, sit dear I have something to say to you And it won't take long, just one song And you will know what I'm going through My abomination, the desolation It needs for you It feeds on you It came from inside me And tried to divide me But I know we are as one Still I feel that I'm broken My story's unspoken But maybe it's me who's come undone Fate, I believe you but Wait deep down in my gut I need for you to sit just right Then you'll feed, you'll feed Your sweet appetite Come here, sit dear I have something to say to you And it won't take long, just one song And you will know what I'm going through Abomination, the desolation It needs for you It feeds on you
11.
With best friends the challenge disappears It transcends any childhood fears The lens can capture seven years We can do anything The plan was to find the ark Began at our twelve year mark A man as it fades to dark Instead of summering we're gonna make this thing It was tough, but we adapted They had experience and cash but we could match it When you want it this bad there's no need to explain Sometimes a boat is as good as a plane We go shot for shot on screen Just like our favourite film had been We fell short by one crazy scene We have to go our separate ways but we'll still have those special days It was tough, but we adapted They had experience and cash but we could match it When you want it this bad there's no need to explain Sometimes a boat is as good as a plane We were kids, but that can hardly matter A tribute was the treasure we were after Those seven years, it was a fact, we pulled it off We could adapt We could adapt We could adapt And now, after decades past Somehow we've been unsurpassed And we can complete at last The one that got away, that moment to this day We're given one more try to film that last goodbye It was tough, but we adapted They had experience and cash but we could match it When you want it this bad there's no need to explain Sometimes a boat, sometimes a boat It was tough, but we adapted They had experience and cash but we could match it When you want it this bad there's no need to explain If you want it bad enough, If they want it bad enough If you work hard enough You can have your plane
12.
I'm disappointed The Earth's a disgrace I have travelled Across time and space To admonish The entire human race I just didn't plan it like this All the lawyers Are liars, cheats and thieves Politicians Are paid off to deceive The corruption Is too hard to believe They all discriminate and I must eliminate I'll mend this broken flower (Just don't give up) Man don't have the power (And can't give up) I've been away for a real long time (And might give up) I wasn't here then But I am here....now Man and Nature They just don't get along Man and Mankind Can do nothing but wrong They are blinded To He who is strong I'll give them one more chance But warn them in advance If they keep sinning then I must begin again I must begin again I might just make 'em dust and start again I'll mend this broken flower (Just don't give up) Man don't have the power (And can't give up) I've been away for a real long time (And might give up) I wasn't here then But I am here....now
13.
CHORUS: Let's sit around the hookah cause we have some yarns to tell It's All Hallows Eve so let's raise a little hell I'll show you mine if you show me yours, there's scary times ahead It's time to spend an evening watching Tales of the Dead ACT 1: I'm feeling far to empty The way to feel more complete Is to remove a limb now Some fingers, hands or my feet My digits do depress me My members make me feel sad So please just hack the off now Hack them off now Hack them off I see a monster in the mirror I can't figure out how I can make myself clearer So screw off with your rules now I don't care about the board It's time to slice and dice me I believe that less is more ACT 2: I know you need me to help you out This house can't stand if I laze about He's gone, and now I'm man of the house My dreams, my needs won't just go away I can't fill the hole with a job or pay He's gone, he left and now I decay You tell me monsters don't exist But what I see I can't deny I know what I've seen and I can't resist Do you know what happens when you cry wolf? Wolves cry Wolves cry ACT 3: Don't be so almighty Leather whips excite me I have sent my letter You think you know better You are chasing shadows and it's going nowhere fast You are running circles back in time into your past You are getting tired now and I will outlast I have handed down your sentence I will make you pay your penance ACT 4: Back in time four hundred years Three witches had a town in fear Their lives were ended here But not before some people overhear A curse upon this street That torments all who lay their feet Their scorn won't be complete Due to the judgement and deceit Take me home, I am done Walking Cromwell Street I'm alone, they have won Walking Cromwell Street Take me home, I am done Walking Cromwell Street I'm alone, they have won Walking Cromwell Street DENOUEMENT: So four of us have shared our stories, one is left to hear And then we can collect the new ones to celebrate next year So long as we aren't snuffed out by the killer on the loose The one who cuts the power before stringing up the noose
14.
Hmmmmmmmm Would you like a role in my new horror flick Come into the casting room and wait a bit I promise you you'll never be forgotten for The character you'll play Please ignore the blood stained walls and knives we brought There's no need to rehearse your lines or know the plot I'll talk you through the scene until the point you've been Able to relay (Able to relay your role in) Our director's splendid flick Trust us you're the perfect fit Though honestly, you're stuck In Victor Juliet's Director's Cut Drink the water that we will provide Our sound guy is an expert even though he smells like he has died I assure you this is not a sign of things to come So once again I thank you for your precious time I'm glad that we can capture you within your prime I'm sure that you will always be remembered, but There is a chance your only scene will end up cut In our glorious director's splendid flick Trust us you're the perfect fit Though honestly you're stuck In Victor Juliet's Director's Cut

about

B-Folk is a genre created by Roo to describe a project he that no other person would dare take on: recording homages to low-budget films, giving them the respect and love they deserve. Each film was reviewed and discussed by Doug Tilley and Moe Porne on their amazing podcast, No Budget Nightmares, and Roo supplied a song per episode to give the flick a proper send off.

The songs were mostly written while watching the movies themselves, honed in a solo jam session after the movie was finished, and recorded in a couple of hours afterwards. The shortest session was three hours, the longest seven. All instruments - guitar, bass, banjo, mandolin, keyboards and accordion - were played by Roo.

Part songwriting experiment, part DIY recording challenge and part giving back to the community of low-budget filmmakers who have entertained Roo for decades, B-Folk is a testament to the fact that even if you only have $500 in your pocket someone will give a shit about the art you make.

Watch the movies. Listen to the podcast. And to hear the songs that will appear on Volume 2, subscribe to No Budget Nightmares.

Cover Art by Dan McCudden

credits

released July 17, 2014

All songs written, performed and recorded by Roo

Instruments: Norman Acoustic Guitar, Takamine Acoustic Guitar, Fender Prodigy Bass, Dean Banjitar, Gretsch Mandolin, Bellini Accordion, Yamaha Keyboard.

Recorded using Ableton Live, a MacBook Pro, some microphones and a dream.

Cover Art by Dan McCudden

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Roo Toronto, Ontario

Roo is a multi-instrumentalist singer-songwriter from Toronto, Ontario. From pretty songs to f'd up tracks inspired by low-budget films (B-Folk).

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